Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize