It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
