Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
