somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
