i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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