Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It's just like the Real World with babies
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
did you just send me my own nude
Randomize
