you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize