I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Me too!
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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