Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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