What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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