How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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