yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Randomize
