Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize