I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
