Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
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Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
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The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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