Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
