You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
