fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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