these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
