i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I wish there were birth control emojis
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
