I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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