Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Green mimosas i think yes
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
