i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
