he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
