Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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