oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
