i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize