yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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