I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I look better un-naked...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize