just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
