You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
