Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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