The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
