I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I lost the right to judge tonight
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
