Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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