make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
