Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
So many bounce houses so little time
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
