They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
