No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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