I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
