I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
