My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
