Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
