I'm sorry my penis didn't work
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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