So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
