O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize