Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Go christen that room with your naked body.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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