does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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