My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize