So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
