I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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