I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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