Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
where are my eyebrows?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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