Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
