So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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