One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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