I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
