I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
