I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
were you high?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.