youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
