Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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