guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
