would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
