Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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