we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
