Small penises have feelings too.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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